azume | ⚔ // once upon a dream

...You're correct; it is what I had needed. I had almost forgotten that it was a dream, when I saw Xander's face...all of the life taken from him, it's...it was enough to make me want to kill Darkrai, futile of a task it may be. It made me think I was truly at home, and...

[Camilla's voice starts to get break a little, thinking about it again, and she forcibly shakes her head.]

...Xander and I, we've always tried to protect our siblings? It's an older siblings job to do that, and in turn, we look out for one another. He, the distant pillar of our family, and I, the gentle, loving sister. We would destroy anyone who attempted to harm our family.

[...There's a pause there--like there's something she wants to say, but it dies in her throat.]

...I don't have any siblings; in fact I've never been very close to my family in general. Even if I were, they've all passed on when the capital fell. Noctis, Gladio, and Prompto are my only family, and have been for a long time. I've...sacrificed everything for him. [Ignis pushed his glasses back into place.] I'd do it again in an instant, and fight a thousand battles alongside them if it meant that broken family could be kept safe.

What I'm saying is that I'm listening, Camilla. There's no one out here but the pair of us and Hemera, so if there's something you wish to say you know you can do so in confidence.

[Camilla understands. God, does she ever understand that--it's a gentle motion, but Camilla places a hand on Ignis's shoulders while he speaks. They both have people that they'd burn this entire damn world for, and destroy anyone who would threaten them. It's something Camilla has always understood, and it's why she trusts Ignis so much; he gets it, that nothing can stand in the way of protecting what's dear. That no matter what, their protection comes first, orders by anyone else be damned.

That last bit, however...it gets a pause. A significant one that sees Camilla truly uncertain for a moment as she contemplates it...

...]

...Ignis.

[Camilla's tone is deadly serious, but...at the same time, there's an undercurrent of pleading there.]

...I don't wish for anyone to worry for my sake. I would never forgive myself if one of the children heard this. Even Jake, or Michael, or any of the others...it is my job to watch over them and protect them while I am here, at any cost. What's happened at home is something I cannot share lightly...so...

[Camilla takes a deep breath.]

Swear to me that what is spoken here...will never be spoken of to anyone. Please. I trust you, but...I would like to have that assured.

[Ignis placed his right hand over his heart in a sort of salute; he'd have paired it to a slight bow if Camilla's hands weren't on his shoulders.]

I don't think whatever you have to say would be anyone else's concern. I trust you as do the others, and nothing you're about to say would put that at risk after all we've been through since awakening in this world.

Not a word. Not even to Noct.

...Thank you, Ignis.

[This has been eating at her for the past three months, ever since she'd arrived here. The only one with even close to a bit of context is Michael, and even then, he only knows it as a spat between sisters...none of the specifics, of just what she had done.]

...We would do anything to protect our siblings...down to killing one of our own. One of our most precious of siblings, one who we all loved and cared for deeply...she'd...

[...]

Have I told you anything about my dear Corrin, Ignis?

...The name doesn't sound familiar, no. [Ignis raised a hand to rest over the one on his shoulder, voice patient.]

She brings back many memories, for me; we would go to the fortress where she was held every day and play with her. Xander would train with her, Leo would read with her from time to time...Father prevented her from stepping outside of that fortress, until she became worthy enough to truly stand beside us. She wasn't related to us by blood, but...we loved her, we all loved her so much. We would do everything to ensure she lead an enriching life within the castle walls, and she knew she could trust us with anything. We grew up so tightly knit with one another, and she knew that she would have our protection--

[Camilla's voice starts to crack a bit at this point.]

And yet, she made such a stupid decision. When those Hoshidans kidnapped her, she grew so fond of them in such short time...she turned her back on all of us, and became an enemy to both of our countries in the process. She's so naive to the world...I didn't want to lose her. I didn't want to lose my baby sister to such impulse, and it was as if we meant nothing at all to her! All she did was run away and leave our family in pieces...

[it's. it's a long story from a highly biased viewpoint and god damn attempting to justify Fates' plot at all. why this

Either way, that's...one hard part out of the way, but the second--it's so much harder to say, because that's the most worrying part, but she keeps going.]

...It was enough to earn Father's ire, and for him to issue the orders that I was to kill Corrin. To disobey him would mean death, with absolute certainty; if not that, then that one of the others would be forced into something so terrible. I couldn't allow any of them to snuff out such a beautiful light...to taint their innocent hands with the blood of our dear sister. So...it fell onto me, to do my duty.

["It will be easier for both of us to fight if we don't cling to sentimentality."]

We struck her army while she was at sea; her former retainer froze them in place so that we could strike them down, having been forced to attack as well. I got to see my precious sister's face, one last time, while I told her to stop considering me her sister. I loved her so dearly, even in those moments...it broke my heart to be ordered into such a thing. But I knew what I had to do.

...And I failed. [That...gets a tiny bit of laughter, but it's humorless.] She overpowered all of us. My retainers, her own retainer, myself...she defeated us so utterly, that I'm ashamed. But I suppose it allowed me to come here, didn't it? I left my darling retainers behind, and gods only know what Father has done to them...

[The implications are likely obvious, but Camilla's voice breaks further in the process.]

I--I don't know if I can return home, ever again. I don't know if I can do anything, now. And if the last time I see my brother's face...if it's like that, then...

[...Give her a sec, Ignis. She's. Gonna need it.]

Edited 2018-09-16 07:14 (UTC)

Camilla...

[Ignis' voice was quiet; he couldn't even really imagine it. How could anyone make such a foolish choice as Corrin had, or so it sounded? And Camilla...orders were orders, but protecting Noctis took priority over all of it. Ignis would never have been able to do what she did, even for reasons as selfless as preventing anyone else from staining their own hands.]

[(Had it mattered, knowing what his king's final order had implied? Knowing what it all meant from the moment they set out, unable to turn back? Knowing for ten years what would become of the one person he loved above all else including himself?)]

[Maybe. Maybe not. Uncertainty always made situations of duty versus emotion so difficult, didn't they?]

You did what you believed you had to. If anyone can blame you for that, it won't be me.

[He raised his hands to place them on Camilla's shoulders...then hesitated a moment before drawing her into a slightly stilted hug. As though he wasn't entirely used to comforting others, but knew what was necessary from a logical standpoint.]

...I'm sorry.

[...Gods, even if it is stilted, it's not like it matters to Camilla, because her almost instant reaction is to just cling. It's undignified as hell and she will more than likely apologize in due time, to both him and perhaps even Noctis, honestly, but she finally just lets out something of a muffled shriek of anger and anguish.]

It's isn't fair!! None of it is! I put so much value in my beliefs and yet I can't do anything! I--I--

[She's likely going to vent for a bit there, sobs just kind of coming freely. It's freeing, being able to talk about this; even if Ignis is the only person who will ever know this, she knows now that she can trust him. It's the worst anyone could hold against her, and she'll feel better in time.

And time it does take, either by Ignis signalling she needs to let go or just with time itself, before Camilla finally rises up, wiping at her eyes a bit.]

...Please forgive that display.

Edited 2018-09-16 07:33 (UTC)

I don't know what display you mean, Camilla. [Even and calm, completely unflinching even in the face of her clinging and shouting.] After all, I...didn't see anything.

[The usual pun fell flat this time, Ignis' hands falling to his sides.]

...You've entrusted me with a terrible secret. Might I-...would it be of comfort were I to do the same for you?

[...that got her to give a lighter chuckle, goddammit--all despite herself, really. Bless Ignis in these trying times.

Her voice goes very soft and gentle, however, when he brings up his own secret; it's only fair, isn't it?]

Of course it would, Ignis; I would be honored that you would trust me so. And whatever you tell me...I will take it to my grave. I swear it.

Noctis already knows this, and I...truthfully, see little reason to keep secrets past my own pride. But I know you'll not tell anyone, just as I won't.

[A deep breath, a short hesitation, and Ignis started to ]

In our world, there exists--perhaps existed, I don't know what's become of it--an artifact belonging to the royal line. A ring, through which the king of Lucis may wield incredible power.

[His left hand curled into a loose fist while he spoke--as it so often did in moments of restlessness or hesitation.]

But only the line of kings may bear it without repercussion, for should it be worn by one not of Lucis Caelum blood...then they shall be judged by the kings of old, from the first to the last soul of Lucian monarchs past. They all but see into the bearer's heart--his ambitions, his intent, his every reason for daring to tread where only a king as the right. And when they are near-inevitably found wanting, the spirits of the royal bloodline immolate the wearer and strike him down.

...But sometimes, in moments of most dire necessity, they can be bargained with. It was but a member of the Kingsglaive that wielded such power in defense of the falling capital, though I do not know what he said or did to convince them. Should the kings of old look favorably upon one not of the bloodline who puts on the Ring of the Lucii, then untold power will be granted to them...though a sacrifice must be made in exchange. For that Glaive, it was his life offered to buy the Oracle time to escape the city.

[Slowly, Ignis took off his visor and slipped it into his shirt pocket--then he removed his gloves.]

And I--when my king was under threat, the man who I swore to devote my life to protecting, who I tore apart an occupying enemy army to reach...I gave up something else.

[On his left middle finger was a circular burn, right where a ring would have been. A burn matching the one marring his left eye.]

Edited (wrong gotdamn link) 2018-09-16 07:51 (UTC)

But it didn't...mean anything. I was shown a vision of the future that day, a future I couldn't change with nothing left for me in it. I swore to protect him, no matter the cost, and I--

[Ignis's voice seemed to crack, though his steady expression was as firmly held in place as reinforced steel.]

...I don't regret what I did back then. I don't care if it would have killed me on the spot so long as it kept him safe. My sight, my life, all of it are nothing. The world is nothing to me next to fulfilling my duty and protecting Noctis. I regret not telling him what I knew would happen--not trying to prevent it because I knew preventing it would come at a cost he would never wish to pay.

I should have been selfish and demanded one thing of him, just one single time--but I didn't. I couldn't, and the price to be paid was my own helplessness and solitude as the person I love went somewhere I could never follow him.

[...]

'He fears failure, but he fears success more'. Because success comes at a price too high to be paid.

[...Oh.

Oh gods. Camilla listens with absolute attention, the story about a ring with such terrible power--one that could only be wielded by a king, and the story starts to make her heart sink. It starts with the bargaining, and Camilla feels herself seize up--would Ignis really be able to do such a thing? She had no doubts of his intentions, his heart, and just how fiercely he would work to defend Noctis's life and protect him from danger. But even so, for a time, she wants to believe that's not the case...but...

The removal of the visor and the removal of that glove make Camilla gasp--a small 'no' likely heard in the process, knowing that Ignis's sacrifice was, from all that was said, for naught. It's heartbreaking, to know all of this.]

Oh...Oh, gods, Ignis...

[Her voice sounds haunted. Horrified by what she's hearing. That all he got in the end was a broken heart, eternal solitude, and the knowledge that he could have changed something, perhaps. But there's so much understanding, there--how far one would go to save their loved ones, how their lives are meaningless in comparison...]

...And it's because of that success, that the two of you...you would never be able to go home and be able to see each other again?

Much like you and Corrin...there was no other option we could take. Magic in our world requires sacrifice--an exchange, whether of something as minor as a day's energy or as severe as a life.

[His left hand curled into a fist again, dropping back to his side.]

The salvation of the world is no different. Not even for the Chosen King.

[And that just said it all, didn't it?]

...If I lose him here, if I can't bring him back to Lucis with me...then everything I've done since I was six years old will have come to nothing.

[...Gods, that's so horrific. Camilla's so used to the idea of magic coming easily, so long as you followed their instructions correctly. But to think that this was it--that this was all over at the end...

...]

Do the two of you...must the two of you go back to such a dismal fate?

It's...better, now. If I can find a way to bring him back to where I was when I left--the dawn's broken, the daemons are gone. All that's left is to rebuild in a way not unlike we're doing here.

[It was the 'if' that scared the living hell out of him, and if that ever showed on his face or in his voice, it was here with Camilla that it did so. And when he spoke again it was with genuine worry in his tone, quiet and uncertain.]

...What about you? When this is all over-...what are you going to do, Camilla?

...I pray, so sincerely, that you will be able to do such a thing. The two of you...both of you have suffered for too long, to not be able to rebuild together.

[It's her sincerest hope, and she means every word. It breaks her heart, really, that this is their fate--she wants it to change for the better, damn it.

The question he poses, however, gets...one hell of a significant pause. Camilla practically goes rigid, though the longer the silence goes on, it's clear that the thought of that makes her shake something terrible. If she goes, she's certain to die--either by Corrin's hand or her Father's. But if she doesn't, then she'll have left her retainers to die alone, and her own siblings to pick up the pieces. Could she really do that, in good conscience? Leave them all behind? But even then, if she goes back, she'll be leaving all of the people in this group behind, and she'll never see them again, and it's--

Camilla's voice comes out very small, and very uncertain.]

...I don't know.

...

[Ignis reached out to find Camilla's arm, then from there traced down to grip her hand gently in his left.]

It's not my place to make any such decision for you. Least of all with your family in such disarray. But-...should circumstances allow, and should you choose such a path, I think I can speak for His Majesty when I say Lucis would welcome you gladly.

[...Oh, that's...

It takes Camilla a moment to respond, gasping just a tiny bit, but...her tone's warm when she does, and she grips his hand in kind.]

I will...it's something I will absolutely need to think upon, of course. But that you would offer such a thing, is...truly kind of you. I'm certain that I could find a use, in such a place...

...Thank you, Ignis.

You'd fit in with us better than I think you know. Just be aware the offer is present, should we find it a feasible one.

[...Besides, part of him really wanted to see what happened if Gladio flirted with her and got knocked directly on his ass for it. To say nothing of if she met Aranea, gods have mercy on all of them.]

I'm...really quite grateful, truthfully. I'm used to my vision being relegated only to dreams, but that was a different case altogether. As much as I accept the state of things without complaint, I couldn't have been more fortunate that the first thing I've truly seen in ten years would have been Noctis and some of my closest friends in this world.

⚔ // once upon a dream

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