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Week 18.
WEEK 18 Hearthome City isn't the farthest distance away that you've traveled, but it seems that Saturn was right in telling you that it would be a good distance away from Veilstone; surrounded by forest and with the massive shadow of Mount Coronet spreading from the west, it manages to feel both massive and secluded. As usual, there's a good amount to look at, and more than enough to keep you busy; now that the flow of time has been restarted, it may feel almost like there's not enough hours in the day. Of course, that's not the only thing that's changed lately; despite the fact that there's been another one of those setbacks, it seems that overall, you've done something for the world. There's a lot more to be done, of course, but any signs of progress are good signs. POKEMON AVAILABLE: WITHIN CITIES SURROUNDING ROUTES: PLAINS/FOREST MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY | FRIDAY [OOC: Welcome to week eighteen of Azume; feel free to make as many top levels as you'd like and tag out to other characters! This post is for all of your interactions this week... at least until the weekend. Don't forget that a write-up is due this weekend!] |
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But...]
I think I'm...finally beginning to realize just how out of my element I am here.
[She's not really looking anywhere when she says that, but she's perhaps very tellingly not looking at Yuri when she says that. She's not sure if she wants to go further than that, but it's a start.]
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...It's not really an easy thing to think about, yeah?
[He definitely understands. It's what he's been grappling with since he woke up here, and it seems like it's only gotten worse lately.]
Do you want to talk about it?
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[Camilla considers it for a moment, whether it's something she really wants to go into...and well, she winds up leaning back where she sits, settling in a bit.]
...I'm a soldier. I'm not the sort of person who is sent out to seek peace or resolution, if I'm sent to confront an enemy; when I'm sent out, I'm expected to kill them without hesitation. And that's something I take pride in, that I can go out and expect enemies to fall before me; perhaps it's a touch cruel to say, but it's almost cathartic after all that living in the castle has done. My strength can't compare to that of my brother's, but it's my own, and has allowed me to survive thus far.
Being here, where my abilities are next to useless in our confrontations? [Camilla idly looks at one of her own hands, just...kind of blank, really.] It's infuriating. Demoralizing, even. I'm really starting to understand what someone I spoke to once told me; that they didn't have a purpose when their life wasn't on the line. I could handle that much at first, even if it took some doing. We were making progress on a tangible level, and it felt far more natural to simply attempt to stay strong in the face of it all. Perhaps even to attempt to garner respect from an enemy. If it were even a month prior, I would have been disgusted with myself, but...it felt like we had a chance to do something, before all that happened with Cyrus.
Now? I'm disgusted with myself for even entertaining the thought of such things. But even with all of the training we've done to get stronger, it means nothing. [Camilla's hand clenches, and her expression becomes stormy.] It's so frustrating to feel so utterly powerless in this situation. I'm far from giving up; I've people to protect and futures I want to ensure are brighter, but...
[It's. It's a lot.]
...I just wish I could have an order to fight, for once. I want to stop thinking about all of this, but it's almost all there is to do.
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...I think I get it. I'm not a soldier, and I've never been good at following orders, but you've outlined a lot of problems I'm having too. My power's always been in fighting, and if I can't do that... well, it feels like I'm useless. Some of you guys are really good at just talking to people until results fall out, but I'd never be able to do that sort of thing. Violence is almost always the solution I fall back on, and it's pretty clear that it's not how we need to solve things here.
[He considers for a moment before getting up and offering Camilla a hand.]
Sitting here thinking about it's just gonna make us angrier. You wanna come let off some steam? Fighting may not be the solution, but that doesn't mean we should let our skills get dull, and I've found it's a pretty good way to get some of that anger out.
[If he was the sort of person who could talk these things through with Camilla, he certainly would. But he's still figuring out how to do that, and honestly, fighting's just way easier. C'mon, let's go find some sticks and beat each other up or something.]
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Either way, Camilla finally looks to Yuri with a bit of a smile, before taking his hand easily.]
You always do suggest the most wonderful of ideas. I'd like that quite a bit; it's always such a wonderful way to let out any pent up emotions, and I can assure you I have many to let go of.
[FUCK YEAH LET'S IGNORE OUR PROBLEMS AND KICK EACH OTHER'S ASSES \o/]