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⚔ // stress in solitude
[Once Saturn had left, Ignis took a slow breath to steady himself before standing and speaking again.]
I think we have a fair amount of things to discuss, after that. But we'll also need to rest and recover here; We may be able to take it at Saturn's word that he won't alert Cyrus to us, but overstaying our welcome by more than a couple of days is unwise--that means we need to take advantage of this as much as we can.
[Strategy was easier. The words came naturally, and he was able to hold focus.]
If anyone needs me or wishes to assist, I'll be in the kitchen. I'm aware we just ate, but I presume we'll all be more comfortable if one of our own makes breakfast in the morning.
I think we have a fair amount of things to discuss, after that. But we'll also need to rest and recover here; We may be able to take it at Saturn's word that he won't alert Cyrus to us, but overstaying our welcome by more than a couple of days is unwise--that means we need to take advantage of this as much as we can.
[Strategy was easier. The words came naturally, and he was able to hold focus.]
If anyone needs me or wishes to assist, I'll be in the kitchen. I'm aware we just ate, but I presume we'll all be more comfortable if one of our own makes breakfast in the morning.
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[Ignis paused, as if the question itself was one he'd never actually considered.]
A...bit of both. It wasn't strictly expected of me, but I took on the responsibility.
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I take it those around you didn't have much of an aptitude for such things, then?
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[Like a little army and shit!]
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Well...there's Gladiolus Amicitia; He has something of a short temper at times, but is incredibly reliable when it matters the most. He's well-read and loves camping--Gladio's the one who taught me to set up a campsite in the first place.
Prompto Argentum's someone I've known for only slightly less of the long years Gladio and I have been friends; he's a photographer with near boundless energy, a perpetually cheerful friend with an astoundingly sharp eye.
Then of course, there's N-
[...]
[The knife cut down, and with a final sharp tap on the cutting board went silent as Ignis went very still.]
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Then that knife comes down and she sees Ignis go still, and suddenly the worry sensors are off the charts, and Camilla drops the knife she was working with.]
Ignis? Ignis, what's wrong?
[SIR YOU ARE DOING HER A FRIGHTEN]
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['-forgot.' For just a brief half-second, he'd been caught up in the memory and allowed himself to forget the truth. But if he did that...he'd be no better than Team Galactic, blinding themselves to the reality of emotion and all the humanity that came with it.]
...When we were just children, someone of vital importance to me...was injured. He went to another country to recover, and when he returned...he told me about this Tenebraean dessert he'd found and couldn't remember the specifics of. Seeing him talk about it--he was smiling, even in a difficult time when so much of our lives and even the kingdom was uncertain.
So I spent as much time as I could trying to recreate it. I must have baked thousands of pastries over the years, each a bit closer and yet not quite right when he tried them. He was never upset by it, but I couldn't accept anything less than a complete success. So I kept trying and trying, based on his description and with every kind of fruit I could find.
It turned out the main ingredient was a sort of berry that only grew in that region of Tenebrae, an ocean away from home. I was only able to find success and give him that experience ten years ago, at a time when things were even less certain and a thousand times more dire.
...I'll never forget the smile on his face when he was able to tell me I'd finally gotten it right.
[Yes, memories like that...were truly what made the world worth living in. Made emotion worth feeling, even if it felt like that empty sensation in his heart was having a fit to rival the thrashing of Leviathan.]
I was just...remembering that, nothing more.
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...Camilla is kind of glad she's good at keeping quiet because that story is entirely too sweet and damn it she may have teared up a tiny bit. That's so goddamn sweet? To think of this dear friend, who had someone so dedicated to making him happy that he would go to such an extent for his sake...
...you know, in hindsight, maybe that's why he was irritated by the comments with Saturn. It makes perfect sense to her, totally.]
...That's such a sweet memory. The fact that you were willing to go to such an extent for his sake, it's-- [Calm down, Cams, dammit.] It's such a sweet gesture, and I can simply imagine that beautiful little look on his face when you perfected it. I'm glad that you both got to experience such joy...
[...There's a lot she could question about that, really--he wasn't blind before then? What...on earth happened, those ten years ago? Really, it isn't any of Camilla's business, but...]
Such hardship and difficulty...it makes the sweeter memories only stand out all the more, wouldn't you agree? It makes them even more precious. I'm simply sorry that it seemed to cause such a shock in the first place.
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No, it's-...you've not done anything wrong.
[Ignis swallowed hard, struggling to force back his brief vulnerability--feeling that and showing it were two very different things.]
I was only thinking of how the four of us used to travel together. It was my role to cook when we stopped for the night, usually out in the middle of nowhere. I...suppose the question made me briefly nostalgic.
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...It's good that you hold such wonderful memories close to your heart. It's the sort of thing that gives one's life a shining ray of hope...which is always needed in turbulent times, lest you worry yourself to death.
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...
[For just a minute, it seemed like Ignis had flat out forgotten to even respond.]
Oh, I-...yes. You're right.
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...Your mind seems miles away, if I may be bold in stating such a thing. I mean no offense by such a thing, but if it's too much...
[like. are you fucked up over something, man]
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[He shook his head, adjusting his sunglasses.]
I was...just thinking, that's all.