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Yes, I'll meet you coming back when the universe has expanded
[Mars' chains had faded away as soon as the chains on Palkia had shattered, that unnatural red glow leaving her eyes; she doesn't stumble, to her credit, and seems to be trying to resist the urge to flinch or anything, but she's...not precisely looking too hot, either. Not like she's going to faint or anything, just like she's been through A Lot.
Jupiter is staying near her for the time being; ultimately, she's the one that addresses you.]
You guys can stay here if you want. Or don't, I don't care enough to insist. But we've got food and beds that probably beat the Center's, at least.
We'll be around, either way. Since I doubt you guys are just going to leave us alone after all that. Do what you want.
[OOC: Consider this a log to cover both any afterparty whatnot you want to get up to, as well as something to carry over into Sunday! Both Jupiter and Mars will be available for NPC threads on this particular log, should they be desired.]
Jupiter is staying near her for the time being; ultimately, she's the one that addresses you.]
You guys can stay here if you want. Or don't, I don't care enough to insist. But we've got food and beds that probably beat the Center's, at least.
We'll be around, either way. Since I doubt you guys are just going to leave us alone after all that. Do what you want.
[OOC: Consider this a log to cover both any afterparty whatnot you want to get up to, as well as something to carry over into Sunday! Both Jupiter and Mars will be available for NPC threads on this particular log, should they be desired.]
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Kinda bleak, isn't it? The idea of just... hoping for a happy ending. Wish I could even pretend to be that optimistic.
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...And I don't think I've the ability to believe otherwise anymore.
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Our odds were never good, they're just much lower now.
cw: suicidal ideation
I'm...tired of not knowing if I'd prefer death over returning home without Noct.
cw: suicidal ideation
The only thing keeping me going is seeing Steve's face again, the fact that if I just vanished on him, never returning home, he'd blame himself. I know he blames what happened to me on himself already.
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I'm-
[Ignis hesitated, and when he found the will to speak again his voice was unsettlingly quiet and uncertain.]
...afraid. I'm afraid of what happens if I can't get him back. I don't pretend as though I'm the only one suffering without him, but it's-... I don't know how to existin a world that doesn't have Noct in it. Neither do I even know if I have the strength to try.
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God, I understand. I understand so well.
[He makes a noise, halfway between a groan and a bitter laugh.]
He used to be sick all the time, Steve. Spent sleepless nights taking care of him, getting him whatever he needed when he was too sick to get out of bed. And then the serum goes and cures him of all his illnesses, gives him hearing in his left ear when he was born deaf. How the hell do you compete with that?
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[Ignis shook his head, glasses taken off to press a hand to his eyes.]
When we were teenagers-...Noctis hated everything to do with his calling. Hated how the magic of the line was such a drain on his father's health, resisted everything to do with the crown as much as he could. I always acted as his proxy in council meetings and helped him deal with the politics so he could be prepared for the role we all thought he'd take, and he detested even that much. Even after the capital fell and his father died, he only seemed to hate the role even more. Which...I really never could blame him for.
We didn't...know. None of us did, not even Noctis himself. Everything we'd done--his real calling wasn't merely the Lucian crown, but to save a world in peril by dying for it. We weren't twenty year old children anymore, and he'd just...come to accept it. Became the king we'd all known he could and even more than that.
Then I was the one who didn't want this, and Noctis who insisted it was necessary. I just-...I just wanted--
[Ignis' voice shook so badly he could barely finish the thought, a slight but distinct tremor coming to his shoulders.]
...it's my fault, Bucky. It's my fault, I should have stopped him and found some other way, I should have--
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[He sounds resigned, but he lets Ignis talk. It's been obvious for a while that something horrible had happened. This does feels like confirmation.
He places his right hand on Ignis' shoulder, patting him gently.]
Seems we both love the self-sacrificing types.
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I just-...feel as though I've failed. Even if there wasn't another way and even knowing he'd accepted it, I...
[A deep breath followed that, Ignis struggling to find his composure as he quickly hid his eyes behind the visor again.]
...I can't stand feeling useless. Not to anyone, and least of all to him. What's the point of a strategist that can't find some better course of action? Why am I even here when there's less and less I can do for any of you?
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It's been half a year since Bucky found himself in this world, who knows what's happened to Steve since.]
Y'know, when Shuri was able to.... deprogram me, get these trigger words out of my head, she told me-- told me I need to talk to a doctor about what I went through. In the forties, in the age I last remember being in, that sort of thing never happened.
[He sighs, smoothing his hair with his left hand, which creaks a little from the missing parts.]
I don't know what I'm saying. I guess... don't try and do all of it yourself? You don't need to, same as I don't need to go putting myself in the front line just because that's what I'm used to.