TEST 8.

[azumods]

FLOW. The feeling of pressure in here is immense. It's stronger than it was with Darkrai, something you can feel down to your core, something that you couldn't shake off even if you tried; there's nothing to do but power through it. Saturn, for his part, either isn't feeling it at all or is incapable of reacting in any sort of appropriate way even if he could; he simply continues to regard you from across the room, his words hanging heavy in the room. It's a far cry from his behavior during the first month you were here; he was civil then, willing to do you favors in exchange for the chance to talk to you. It's plain that he will be doing no such thing today; it may be difficult to know where to start, really. Especially when your Pokémon don't seem to be doing well - whatever's happening here, they seem reluctant, even unwilling, to fight anything in this room. Perhaps it's not surprising; the energy in the room is likely familiar to them, and it's the sort associated with someone deciding to take their spirit away last time it was angered. Whatever the reason, you're on your own for now; whatever happens is your choice, and yours alone.

Comments

[eudaimonikos]

Is it? I don't think any of us are feeling awkward about it.

[Own your awkwardness, Saturn]

Yeah, you said. Several times. What've you been up to though, man? Don't tell me you were all just up there playing cosmic Scrabble this whole time.

[azumods]

He was helping me, at my request. Removing all doubts and fears that I've had about this entire situation. It's been...nice, really.

[eudaimonikos]

...oh, Saturn.

[Michael's feelings seem more complicated than they should be. If only he had encountered some kind of benevolent emotion deity who could have helped him learn some emotional intelligence!

So, what actually comes out of his mouth is:]

That was so dumb!

[azumods]

It wasn't.

[He doesn't seem offended by it any, because of course he doesn't.]

It was for the good of the mission, and for being able to carry out my work. I can be of proper use to Master Cyrus in a way that I wasn't capable of before. It's been beneficial.

[eudaimonikos]

Well, of course you think that now, you big dummy! And of course you thought it before, 'cause ya dumb!

[ooof god when did he start channeling Eleanor]

When you start having doubts about what you're doing, that tells you something! When you're afraid to - to lose things, it's because they're important! Taking away your ability to feel those emotions is just another crazy layer on top of the elaborate pile of lies you've been telling yourself for ages!

[azumods]

[It is not a pile, he has at this point constructed an elaborate castle of lies that he has been living in for years; he just recently decided to go the rest of the way and declare himself king, apparently.]

I don't expect you to understand. None of us have ever demanded understanding, though I'm more willing to work for it than my coworkers are most of the time.

I've done all this because I want to. That's what it comes down to.

[eudaimonikos]

What it comes down to is that you were too much of a coward to question the party line! I thought I understood you before - I thought we were sort of similar, but you - !

[He cuts himself off with a frustrated growl. He's...upset. This hurts, and he's lashing out. He can diagnose that much in himself now, even if being hurt over it at all seems unreasonable.]

Well. I'm sorry you couldn't cope with the concept of independent thought.

[azumods]

What would you have had me do? Run off and join you in your attempts at supposedly "saving" the world...?

My loyalty to Master Cyrus is unwavering. I'm not going to walk away from that.

[eudaimonikos]

I'd have you protect your friend!

[He snaps back, without even having to think about it.]

Nobody turns on everything they've believed in for the sake of some strangers. I think you knew deep down it would have been the right thing to do, but I don't expect you to take that kind of leap. I wouldn't expect it of most people. Just not how it is.

But you had someone you cared about, someone who cared about you, for your entire life. You weren't alone, you've never been alone! Do you have any idea how lucky you were to have something like that? And you let Cyrus destroy her. Even afterwards, when you really understood what you'd lost, you still chose your loyalty to your boss over your loyalty to her.

You owed Toxicroak more. You're just too afraid to admit it to yourself.

[azumods]

What difference does it make to you...? What I owed her, what loyalty you think I did or didn't offer her - this doesn't have anything to do with you. You don't care about her, and I doubt you care about me.

There isn't any point in going on about this sort of thing - what I should have done, what I should have chosen. The fact of the matter is that I didn't.

[hyruglyphics]

[ Well that's striking. It's striking in such a way that it can't help but fill her with an odd mix of disappointment, genuine sadness, and deep irritation. It's not so much that it's unexpected, per se, but it is... it's still something which - sits wrong with her. It makes her feel a little cold, after the promises that they made to Saturn back then, when it seemed proper to go with bravado.

... Unable to parse all that out Vah Daroh (who has by now retreated into the Sheikah Slate on her waist) is just sort of making some confused beeps over its speakers on sensing the mood but for Zelda, her notes related to Dialga (insofar as she found anything) in hand she clutchs those closer to her chest and, ]

I'm certain it has, it would stand to make being on the wrong side of things easier.

[azumods]

[He doesn't seem offended, because...well, why would he, at this point.]

You can believe whatever you want about things like that. I'm capable of doing what's necessary now, and that's what matters to me.

[hyruglyphics]

I know, and I certainly will continue to.

[ . . . ]

This time we've invaded your space, of course, but what are you doing here?

[azumods]

I'm guessing that you're here because of the disturbances, but I'd think it makes sense for me to be here...?

[hyruglyphics]

It does, but you had been missing for some time. And if you are working with purpose, I was curious what that purpose was.

[azumods]

To be honest, I'm trying to stabilize things. It's obvious that Dialga isn't pleased; I'm doing what I can to work things out on our end regarding it.

[hyruglyphics]

[ So Dialga is here. That proves the pressure, that confirms his earlier statement. She hums at that, biting her lip a moment before continuing on, ]

Time has been distorted entirely, but this city has had the worst we've seen.

[semistableman]

Those aren't imperfections!

[He had been doing a nice job of sounding kind of emotionless, but his tone has now jumped straight to horror.]

[azumods]

[...Saturn is just kind of hitting every issue Bucky has ever had every single goddamn time he shows up, isn't he.]

They are. They've been preventing me from recognizing my own potential, and from carrying out Master Cyrus' will. It's better this way, in every way conceivable.

[semistableman]

[God, he can't do this.

He smooths a hand through his hair.]

Human emotions aren't a flaw. You're a person.

[azumods]

Of course, I've never tried to claim otherwise. I'm no less of one now, either.

[semistableman]

You've done a good job trying to make yourself someone who exists just for one person.

[The fact that he's noting this from personal experience kind of goes without saying.]

[discutio]

[...]

[he’s fine this is fine and he’s not nauseated at all]

[azumods]

I see no problem with that, as long as it's my choice.

[semistableman]

That doesn't make it okay.

People call it "self-destructive" for a reason.