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Week 4.
WEEK 4 Backtracking may not seem like an ideal situation, especially not given the situation on Sunday morning, but it isn't without reason or merit; after all, Lake Valor is within a reasonable distance, and perhaps more importantly, there's reason to believe that something may be there. Whether it's one of the Guardians you seek or something else entirely has yet to be seen; there's only one way to know for sure, however. So back onto Route 213 it is; you should reach Route 214 by Tuesday afternoon, and the entrance to Lake Valor by Thursday night; you may want to wait to explore the lakefront proper during the morning, however. Who knows what you may run into... You've seen at least some reasons to not give up hope as you left Pastoria; for the time being, let that hope give you strength. POKEMON AVAILABLE: PLAINS/FOREST / MOUNTAINS/ELEVATED AREAS SUNDAY | MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY [OOC: Welcome to week four of Azume; feel free to make as many top levels as you'd like and tag out to other characters! This post is for all of your interactions this week... at least until the weekend. Don't forget that a write-up is due next weekend!] |
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[And she sounds like she genuinely means it, steps light and bright eyes looking ahead.]
Everyone should have something special like that in their lives. Too much mediocrity is a bad thing; humans need things to occupy their minds and bodies, and really drive them. We're meant to enjoy what we do, and have fun with it.
WHAT IF I ACTUALLY PRESSED 'POST COMMENT' THO
Um...yeah! It really improved my life when I really got into playing...um...
[But if she has that kind of passion in her answer, then...]
Do...do you have something like that, then?
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[Gently, she rests her elbow against the egg in its sling.]
I'd never thought about it much before, but I realized recently that was a proverb that applied to my own life, so I had to cut back.
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It...took over your life, somehow? [He doesn't completely get it.]
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[Looking away from Sena, the expression on her face is probably too wistful, for someone who just admitted she realized what she was doing wasn't good for her. A part of her still looks like she misses it, though that might have to do with the memories that come to mind as she tries to explain.]
I've always wanted to be a mage. Before I could even talk, I loved magecraft. My earliest memories are of watching my father in his workshop. It was amazing. I wanted to be just like him.
[Even now, she cherishes those memories. Cherishes every spell she ever learned, with him or on her own. Shaking herself from the nostalgia, Rin shrugs her shoulders.]
I had a lot of talent for it, too. It came easy to me, and the parts that didn't were a fun challenge. The thing is, though, the lifestyle of a mage is demanding. It's a life of secrecy, with many strict rules to uphold.
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[Wait. Tohsaka can use magic? Really?
...Well, now that it's been a few weeks and he's been traveling with swordsmen, priests and literal demons, he's not as surprised as he could have been.
He's still really surprised, though.]
So...those rules...did they change you, or something? [Hold you back?]
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A mage's child isn't human from the start. It's the duty of a mage to take what was born human, and change it into something else through years of hard training.
By that standard, of course I'm a different because of it. But I've always been this way, so it's not as if I remember living my life any other way.
It's more like my "normal" and your "normal" have different meanings. Mages have different values and morals, compared to every day people.
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[Honestly, a lot of this is going over his head. Trying to imagine someone with a completely different set of values is difficult. What does it mean? Are they someone like Hiruma, who has no sense of restraint, does what he wants and lives by his own creed? Or are the rules just completely different?]
So...that was bad for you somehow?
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[She knows she's not doing a very good job of explaining it. It's intentional. Despite the fact she and Kayneth decided to be open about their identity as mages, the gritty details...
That's something a person like Sena doesn't need to know, she thinks. This is their first time talking about it, so it would be too much. Even if it was the 100th time, though, she still probably wouldn't say.
...though really, doesn't that just go to show what she's trying to say. She's so used to hiding her lifestyle as a mage that it's become intrinsic to her nature.]
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Still pretending, in this world you could play football as much as you wanted, to your heart's content, but you could never tell anyone about it. Not your friends, not your classmates. No one would come to your games, either.
How would you feel?
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I had to hide my identity when playing football at first...but that's not nearly the same thing. The whole point of hiding my identity was to make a mystery identity that would draw attention to our team, after all...
[He looks kind of sad, reflecting on that. Sena can't help but think about what the Chairman of the high school football association had said at that speech. The only thing that mattered in football was...winning. That meant...]
...What's the point, if you can't share your victory with everyone...?
[Why would you even play? What kind of joy was that supposed to bring?]
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The other players, too. In this pretend reality, the word "team" doesn't suit them. You play together, but it's not really...
[A pause.]
You're not on the same side. Not really. You fight for the same goal, but no one would bat an eye if they replaced you tomorrow.
Would you still want to play?
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That...that sounds like some teams that I've heard of. They want players of the best ability, so they...
[He looks distant. The Yuuhi Guts...that team had really been in a sorry state. A team made up of nothing but replacements...]
...They don't have any heart, when they get rid of experienced players simply because they don't have enough skill...It feels like they're missing something important. I could never...I couldn't play in a team like that.
[He looks at her quizzically.] Is...being a mage really like that?
1/2 I just keep giving you novels, I'm sorry
At first, she'd just been trying to illustrate the situation in terms he could understand. It had felt like a stretch to her, but to hear him relate it to some of his own experiences... And with such a visceral reaction?
She knows the ideal she had in her head of a cold, pragmatic mage doesn't suit her. Witnessing glimpses of Archer's past in her dreams, and seeing Shirou's struggles, it was impossible not to take a critical look at herself, too, and see she was hardly better. That kind of life wouldn't make her happy in the end, so she decided to do things her own way.
Having made that decision, Rin thought she understood her heart a little better now. But hearing Sena talk, she can see she still has blindspots.
"It feels like they're missing something important."
It's her analogy, but she has no idea what that could be.]
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It's just an analogy. [Her voice is shaky, but it sounds somewhat more like herself again.]
In practice, there's big differences. Mages are more common in Europe; there's hardly any in Japan to begin with, and even less in my city. Until six months ago, I didn't have any teammates to speak of in the first place. The Association doesn't call unless they have a bone to pick with me, either.
But aside from that, I think my comparison gets the right feelings across, at their simplest level.
[She'll leave out the (literally) bloody details.]
good thing i love reading
[He says that, but it's hard to put his feelings about it into words. It's like trying to imagine the world of pros in the NFL: some kind of mystical land one hears about, one can see, but can barely know the true scope of things inside. And the way it made her sound, how she still doesn't look completely herself when thinking about it...]
...Being a mage sounds really lonely, Tohsaka.
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You said it, not me.
[But he's not wrong, and she doesn't correct him. She smiles wide, because she knows if she doesn't, she might cry.
Yeah. She's always been lonely. Rin has a blunt personality and will plainly admit most things, but that's one thing she can't admit to. Describing it like this was the best she could do, because if anything it downplayed that ache. It only scratched the surface.
The loneliness Rin grew up in isn't one most people can understand. That's not even melodramatic teenage angst; there's maybe only one person in the world who could relate, and they've barely spoken to one another in ten years. She hasn't even told Shirou or Saber.
So yes. Rin smiles.]
And that's why I had to cut back. That's the difference between you and me, Kobayakawa-kun. Unlike you, even now I do want to keep playing. Magecraft is a messed up sport, but that's how much I love it.
I'm not stupid, though. I know now how badly that would end for me, so I've compromised by abandoning a lot of those rules. The Mage's Association would balk, but I live my life as I please these days.
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[He can't imagine having such a lonely past-time. But who knows? Maybe if he had a natural aptitude for it and was introduced to magic in the same way he had to American Football, would he be the same way?
Maybe. Maybe not. He'd never know. What he does know is that he and Tohsaka live in very different worlds - literally so. And maybe...maybe he knows that the smile on her face doesn't quite add up. The way the skin crinkles around her eyes...it's the same as when Yukimitsu wasn't chosen to be a starting player, the same way he screwed up his eyes and convinced himself that it would be fine, he could continue to help on the bench, that it was fine that he would likely never run a game...
There's a lie somewhere in there, but he can't see what it is. He's not sure if he wants to.]
You think you can get away with that?
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But if someone gets too big for their britches and really has a problem with me... Enough to act on it?
[Oh, this grin is genuine, and honestly a little scary.]
I have the most powerful familiar in the world on my side. [Hair blowing in a sudden breeze, her eyes spark with an inner flame as she clenches her fist, unafraid.] If they want to start a fight, they can try.
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But the more she speaks, the more he realizes...this is her way of freeing herself. Making magecraft her own thing. Maybe even...being able to truly enjoy it. She's not going to let anyone take that away from her.]
...You sound like you could take on the world. [Not unlike a certain demonic quarterback. He thinks the man would approve of this kind of resolve.]
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[Yes, she's definitely looking much more like herself now, animated with her gestures, and comfortable in her own skin. After stretching her arms high above her shoulders, there's a spring in her step when she drops them back to swing at her sides.]
But you know, every person you meet has a smaller "world". Like their very own personal bubble, filled with the things and people they value most.
That's the only world that matters to me. There's no point for me to take it on, because I already rule it.
[It's as simple as that, but Rin's always been that sort of person. She's never done anything she didn't want to do, and it seems that applies her too.
It's not even that she'll fiercely protect what's important to her and her own decisions, though that should go without saying. No—she's so self-assured that the scenario Sena presented strikes her as so unlikely, to her it's not even a concern.
It's her happiness, after all. She smiles at him.]
I'm sure you feel the same way sometimes, when you're on the football field.
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[That sounds a little more like the Tohsaka he knows. No wonder she's so self-assured. Or seems to be, at any rate. The past few minutes have shaken him of that preconception. Not that she isn't, but he can't help but wonder if she's like this because she feels like she has to.
Maybe he's overthinking this.]
You might be right about that...when I run on there, it's just me, and whoever I have to get past. At that point...nothing else seems to matter.
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Is football the only sport you play? It's not often you come across American football teams in Japan, so I assumed it's something you picked up in high school. With that kind of spirit, though, I wouldn't be surprised if you had other athletic pursuits.
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[So...not very long. Huh. He actually looks embarrassed and...almost a little ashamed of himself when he speaks again.]
I didn't...always have that kind of spirit.
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[She looks surprised, though not at his embarrassment. That just strikes her as strange; why is he getting so shy all of a sudden? If he didn't participate in sports before joining the football team, that's kind of impressive.]
Then how did you get into it? It struck me as such a niche sport, I was certain you had to be a member of the track team or something similar, and then met a player from another sports club who poached you. If that's not how it went down, I'm twice as curious to hear the real story.
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